Yes, this is my preview of new food at the Minnesota State Fair this year. And my own personal "Paulometer".....said like speedometer.....no "O" meter.

There looks to be lots of really great stuff this year, but also some pretty horrendous attempts that I won't even go near, let alone eat.

All said, I've concocted my own little system to help you decide what you should and shouldn't eat.

First the stuff I won't touch, unless paid extravagant, morning show on Cities97 types of money....Beef Tongue Caramelos (Tacos). Really? Lamb Fries. For no real reason other than that just sounds like trying too hard and not necessary. Sushi. That's your effort "Sushi". I just said Lamb Fries was trying too hard, but "Sushi" isn't trying hard enough. Is it really a special thing to just have "Sushi" at the Fair? Yaaawwwwn. Also, Bacon Ice Cream. Go away. Put bacon where it's SUPPOSED to be. Next to Mom's delicious hot cakes, not in my ice cream where there should be Chocolate, Pecans, Carmel, whatever. NOT bacon. Get serious. Quit clowning around. Lastly, Red Velvet Funnel Cakes. I'm SO over all things Red Velvet. Unless it's an undergarment. Maybe it's cuz I overdosed on Ben & Jerry's. Either way, pass.

Okay, onto the positive. First, we have the "Tier 3" food. This is food I recommend taking a decent walk before eating. Such as, Alere's Featured Salads. Seems harmless, but it is the fair, so walk first. Chicken Nachos On A Stick. I'm really not that interested, but I appreciate the creativity of somehow getting Chicken Nachos on to a stick. Nice. But take a walk first.

Next, "Tier 2" food. Only attempt this food if you can handle a fairly strenuous 30 minute full body workout. Duke's Poutine. Poutine is basically fries. Freshly cut. Then they add "piping hot gravy and squeaky white cheddar cheese curds". I don't know what "squeaky cheese" is, but I think if anyone offers you anything "squeaky", you say yes. Gluten-Free Chicago-Style Hot Dog. It's a hot dog, but it's Gluten-Free. So, nice trade off. Also, Chicago dogs.....win! Gluten-Free Risotto Poppers. That just sounds yumtastic. Again, with the gluten-free. I like it. But don't forget to get in a workout before you swallow all this goodness.

Alright, time for the "Tier 1" foods. On to the headliners, the "Big Knockers" as Brian Oake is sometimes referred to as. I can not recommend to eat ANY of this stuff unless you can survive a full on 60 minutes of P90X. But I intend to devour ALL of this stuff until I'm uncomfortable. Starting with possibly the highlight of the new fair food. The Paul Bunyan Bar. "A vanilla bean premium ice hand dipped to create a thick coating of chocolate, then rolled in chopped almonds, coconut flakes or chocolate". ONLY problem I see here is the word "or". Whattaya mean OR? How about chopped almonds, coconut flakes AND chocolate!? I'm all in. Next, Spaghetti Eddie's Super Stick. No, it's not dirty. It actually sounds delicious. It's a ginormous stick of pepperoni and cheese dipped in a garlic batter mix. Hello! Then, of course, deep fried and served with sauce. And, lastly, this one might destroy all oncomers, but what a way to go. Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup Fudge Puppies. May the force be with you on this one.

One I didn't know where to put. Waffle De Liege. "Authentic street-style waffles with a caramelized pearl sugar coating". And all of this is carefully bestowed upon a soft, sweet, dense and doughy waffle. Mmmmmm.

My goal is to gain less than 20 pounds. I can't break 240 pounds. No way, no how. Good luck to you. Please give me intel on anything you try and love or hate. paulfletcher@cities97.com